


cursed fanfiction

by pokesperuby



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Gen, Species Swap, its up to interpretation tho honestly, theyre just confused and also want to be friends with each other but cant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2018-12-25 20:32:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12043740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pokesperuby/pseuds/pokesperuby
Summary: i cant think of a better title for this BUT i wanted to write a fanfic based on my swap au specifically cause i have a lot of headcanons that i cannot draw.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this will switch between dib and zims povs every chapter. ill try not to make it too jarring

First day in Earth school, and Dib was already completely overwhelmed. His PAK was uncomfortably digging into his back as he tried resting on the chair attached to his desk, back on Irk the chairs were designed with PAK holes to avoid this. Dozens of children around his age (in human years, anyway, Dib had noticed that irkens tend to age a lot slower than this race did) were yelling about something or another, and it felt as if with every second they were closing in. Dib felt himself starting to twitch, first one finger, then his hand, then his leg started bouncing. He was almost completely in a trance when a loud bang on his desk snapped him out of it and a human’s face was mere inches from his. His light blue eyes seemed to burn into Dib’s flesh. Suddenly the human was poking at his forehead.

“You new here, stinky?” He asked, narrowing his eyes. His natural tone seemed to be shouting, and Dib began to wonder if that was how all humans talked. Dib grabbed his wrist, which he now noticed was covered with colorful bandages, and set it on the desk. He met the boy’s blue eyes again. “Do you speak?” The boy prompted, voice softening, much to Dib’s relief.

“Uh… yeah. Yeah, I’m new. I moved here a few days ago.” Dib said, trying to avoid eye contact by letting his eyes jump around the room a bit.

“You’re weird. Good.” The boy gave him a toothy grin, showing off the fact that two of his teeth, one on either side of his mouth, were especially pointy. “Zim is me. I mean, I’m Zim. That-- that’s my name.” 

“Dibble. Most people just call me Dib for short.”

Zim opened his mouth to say something else, but a loud ringing cut him off. He stood up, giving Dib one last glance, and strutted, almost soldier-like, Dib noted, over to the opposite side of the room to sit down at the desk closest to the door. Suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder. He jumped in his seat and turned around, coming face-to-face with a girl with dark purple hair and a menacing facial expression.

“Just some advice. Don’t talk to that asshole.” She hissed. “Dude’s a freak.” Dib blinked a few times, then turned back around and let class start.

 

Dib decided that, for the first day, he would be a follower. He would go along with the flow that every other student seemed to follow in order to figure out how the system worked. Somehow, in the mess of it all, he found Gaz. Rather, Gaz found him. The little robot had an excellent tracking feature, and Dib was thanking his lucky stars that he had upgraded it before they came to Earth. “How’s your first… skee-ewl day… so far, Gaz?”

“Let’s just say I’m glad we get to destroy  _ this _ planet, of all of them.” she growled, and Dib swallowed at the word “destroy.” He wasn’t quite sure he actually wanted to do that anymore. In his first week on this planet, he had discovered that many things in this world had yet to be confirmed, and it intrigued him. It made him chuckle that one of them was aliens, though. Ironic that he, a creature only rumored to exist by these people, was fascinated by unsolved mysteries that were placed in the same category as he was.

He bought a lunch that looked more like raw sewage than food, and scanned the cafeteria for an empty table for he and Gaz to sit at. It didn’t seem like there were any, but he did spot a familiar face. Not exactly what one would call an ally, but it was better than nothing. 

“Hi, Zim. Mind if I sit with you?” As he walked up to the table, he noticed Zim had on rubber gloves and was scooping some of the sludge into a vial. There was a smaller human next to him, a boy with rounded facial features and thinner eyes. Zim nodded, looking up at Dib.

"Who's this?" Dib asked, pointing at the little pale boy next to Zim. He seemed to be enamored in a screen of some sort, tapping incessantly as lights flashed with his pressing of buttons.  
"That's Gir. My brother." Zim didn't take his eyes off of Dib, but it sounded as if he has trouble forcing out the word "brother." Dib had never heard the word, but assumed it was someone you had familial ties to.   
He gestured to his right, but realized that Gaz was not by his side anymore, now also fixated on Gir's screen. She seemed to be asking him about what he was doing, and he was chirping about his "vidya game," whatever that was. He then repositioned his hand towards where Gaz now sat. "That's Gaz. She's _my_ brother." He said, feeling confident about his new knowledge of the earthenoid's language. His smile dropped when he received a strange stare from Zim.  
Zim's face was scrunched up. "You mean, your sister?"  
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, sister." Dib stuttered before setting his lunch tray next to Zim's.

Zim laughed at him. It was a hearty laugh, the type of which Dib didn’t hear that often. Dib decided he was going to study this human’s behavior. He seemed out of the norm. It made Dib afraid of him in a way, but drawn to him at the same time. Zim suddenly heaved his backpack onto the table with a thud and stuffed the vial of sludge into a pocket. 

“What’s in there?” Dib pointed two human fingers at the bag. Because his anatomy only had 3 fingers naturally, his disguise put two human fingers over each one besides the thumb to make him appear more normal. Zim’s eyes sparkled mischievously as he began to pull everything out, making a giant mess on the table. There were a wide assortment of scientific tools scattered around, including a pair of pink-tinted goggles, bottles full of various neon substances, and mechanics that Dib didn’t understand but seemed pretty advanced for earth technology.

“This lab gear is MINE, understand? Touch it and you’re dead.” He teased, drawing his index finger across his neck. 

Dib swallowed and nodded, and noticed Gir giving him a sympathetic look.  _ Zim must have had a similar talk with him,  _ he mused. Zim started to explain that he was a scientist, he worked with machines more complicated than Dib had ever seen -- which Dib doubted -- and that he had a deep connection with the paranormal. Even though Dib had a similar set of interests, Zim spouted terms Dib had never heard, making it hard for him to keep up.

He finally paused to ask, “So, what’s in your bag?” pointing to Dib’s PAK.

Dib shook his head. “Oh, it’s not a b-” He stopped himself, clearing his throat and deciding that letting the humans believe it was a backpack was the best course of action. “Nothing, really. It doesn’t have much space to store stuff.” He avoided bringing up the metal legs that he used for long transportation in fear that Zim would want to explore more of the PAK, blowing his entire cover.

“Oh.” Zim seemed disappointed. Suddenly a hand was pressed against the back of the boy’s head, shoving him into his food. The hand belonged to the girl from class, Dib realized, and there was a more petite girl donned in pink standing next to her. Zim raised his head, covered in food and as red as a common Irken’s uniform. 

“Tak!” the girl in pink cried out, “Don’t sink to his level!” and promptly pulled her away. Dib saw a napkin on Zim’s tray and started to wipe his face with it. 

“What was that all about?” he asked quietly, just in case Tak was listening to them. Zim didn’t look like he wanted to speak, but Dib continued to wipe his face until it was clean. His face, Dib noticed, was still red. He would have to look up what that meant later.

 

Dib was walking down the stairs in front of the school, relieved to finally be free of such a dirty place. Gaz promptly appeared at his side, carrying her own “vidya game.”

“Where’d you get that?” He asked, dumbfounded.

“Uhh, some kid gave it to me. After I threatened him.” Dib made a mental note to fix her violence control chip later. He scanned the area, trying to find the road he had taken from his base. As he laid eyes on it, he also noticed a familiar person walking down the same path. He grabbed Gaz’s arm and ran after him, waving with his other hand.

“Zim!” he called out, and as he got closer he realized that Zim and his brother were yelling at each other. Dib slowed down, hoping that he wasn’t interrupting some kind of argument, until he realized that this was both of their natural tones. Gir was yelling louder than Zim, shrieking about how great everything was, and Zim was telling him to be quiet in a friendly way. Dib yelled Zim’s name again, and finally got him to stop yelling and turn around. Zim grabbed Gir’s arm in a similar fashion to how Dib was holding Gaz’s and waited for them to catch up to him.

“Stinky? Is your house this way too?” Zim narrowed his eyes. Dib nodded, a bit out of breath from the chase. He wasn’t exactly the most physically fit for his race, so he got tired after just a little bit of exercising. He wasn’t sure why Zim kept calling him “stinky,” but he went along with it. He figured it was a human thing. Zim looked at him, awkwardness filling the air. Not even Gir was talking. “Do you… want to walk with us?” Zim asked slowly, suspicion filling his features.

Dib nodded again. “Sure.” He started walking without another word. Zim ended up walking next to him, with Gir and Gaz hanging back. They seemed to be playing the same game, and Gir was chattering while Gaz looked at him as if she was about to punch him in the face if he screamed again, which was a distinct possibility. Dib swallowed and turned his attention towards the boy in the pink sweatshirt walking next to him.

Zim suddenly leaned in close, his eyes barely slits. “I could swear, there’s something off about you.” He said, in a low tone so that the two in the back couldn’t eavesdrop. “I’m going to get to the bottom of it, stinky.”

With that, Dib grabbed Gaz and ran. He ran until he got to the back alley where his house was, a sleek, tall and thin black house with a flat roof. He sprinted in and slammed the door behind them. Out of breath, he realized he was sweating and pressed a hidden button on his sleeve that turned his disguise off. “There’s no way he figured it out that quickly.” he panted. He walked with purpose to the wall and delicately tapped some tiles on the wall to open the elevator. He was about to get in when he heard a huge bang on his front door, over and over. He let out a “yipe!” and switched his disguise back on. He opened the door and was met with the side of a human fist slamming into his face. He was knocked back a few steps, and then opened his eyes to see a punk in pink and a tiny kid in blue. He groaned. “How did you find my house, Zim?”

“I followed you. Duh.” Zim placed his hands on his hips and looked at Dib as if this was the most normal thing to do. Dib saw Gir wave at Gaz and had a split second of thinking how cute and friendly this human was before Zim was in his face, taking up his entire field of vision again. “What the hell was that about? And… What’s that?” Zim was suddenly wide-eyed and looking past him, and Dib felt his own face drain of color. He whipped around and saw that he never closed the secret elevator panel in his wall, and it was very obviously not of earth origin. 

“Don’t you have an elevator in your house?” Dib tried to sneer at Zim, hoping that if he hammed it enough Zim wouldn’t figure out it was supposed to be secret. 

Zim’s gaze was whipped back down to Dib. “No, most people don’t. That doesn’t look like a human elevator, anyhow.” Zim clenched his teeth and suddenly a realization dawned on him as he backed away from Dib, face unreadable. “You’re not human, are you?” 

Since his door was still open, Dib took this opportunity to push him out of his house in a panic and slam it behind him. He closed his blinds, slammed his hands on the wall, and sighed. He still wasn’t used to seeing his hands as these… peach-colored 5-fingered things. He turned his disguise off and turned around to see Zim’s little brother sitting on the floor with Gaz, staring up at him with wide blue eyes and a gaping mouth. Dib went still. The kid wasn’t even paying attention to his game anymore as Gaz tapped away at her own buttons. 

“When did you get in here?” He sputtered, not knowing exactly what to say.

“YOU’SE AN ALIEN!” Gir shrieked. Dib started to panic and ran over to him, trying to cover his mouth. He didn’t notice until now, but Zim was still outside, now pounding on the door again and yelling about how if he didn’t bring Gir home he’d be in trouble and why can’t Dib just come out already and give him his brother.  

Dib groaned. He thought there couldn’t possibly be any way this could be worse until he felt a burning sensation on his hand and pulled back, yelping. Gir sat there with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. “Ewww…” Dib wiped his hand on his tunic, then turned back to Gir. “Listen. You can’t tell Zim I’m an alien. That would literally ruin my life.”

Gir blinked at him blankly. “Okie dokie!” he smiled at Dib. Dib sighed in relief and turned his disguise back on, then pulled Gir to the door, opened it, and threw Gir out to Zim. He didn’t even watch what happened as he slammed the door shut again. He heard Zim shout his thanks from the other side of the door, then sighed in relief and looked over at Gaz.

“You’re the worst invader that I’ve ever seen.” She grumbled. Dib decided to agree with this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the plot thickens...

Zim dragged Gir into their house. He was kind of miffed because of his encounter with Dib. Finally, he had met someone interesting in school who had seemed to like him even a bit, even possibly an alien, and he had screwed it up in the first day. He threw his backpack onto the coffee table and slumped onto the living room’s couch, throwing his hands behind his head. He sighed. To himself, he muttered, “Can I just have, like, ONE friend? At all?” realizing he was suddenly being too down on himself for once, he hissed, “Stupid rat doesn’t know what he’s missing.” Gir sat himself on the arm of the couch, sitting criss cross applesauce and looking at his adopted brother. “What?” He found himself snapping at Gir.  
“Weird boy’s an aaaaliieeen.” Gir said, putting a sing-song emphasis on the last word. Zim rolled his eyes.  
“Yeah. Sure, whatever, Gir.” Zim had pretty much figured that out at this point, but suddenly the reality of that hit him hard and he sat up, eyes wide. “Wait, did you see him? Like, as an alien?”  
“He was green, bro!” Gir started to emphasize by using his hands. “Big ole blue eyes.” He placed two fingers around each of his eyes and stretched them wide. “Long antennas.” He attempted to pull his black hair into lines.  
Zim was about to say something when the two boys’ parents walked into the room. They weren’t exactly graceful, but then again, they never were. Zim was worried about what they were going to say this time. He hadn’t even done anything wrong today. Hadn’t gone to the principal’s office ONCE.  
“Your cousin called.” his mom said.  
“Which one? Tenn or Skoodge?” Zim really hoped it had been Skoodge.  
“Tenn.”  
Zim gulped.  
“She said Tak pushed you into your lunch today. Why can’t you two just get along for once?” Now his father was the one talking. Zim looked to Gir for support, but Gir shrank back and hid behind the couch. “You were such cute friends as kids.”  
“Family friends, Dad.” Zim put both of his arms out in frustration. “She’s never liked me. She only puts up with me when you two are around so she doesn’t get in trouble with her parents.” He grunted.  
His parents looked at each other incredulously before turning back to him. His father let out a sigh. “Look, son, we know you’ve been troubled. We know you don’t have many friends. If we… if we only spent more time with you, we’d be able to fix that. Make you more social.”  
Zim clenched his teeth and leaned forward. “‘Fix it?’ You think it’s MY fault no one sees me for me? None of this is my fault!” His voice was raising with every word. “I’M FINE!” He grabbed his backpack and stormed out of the room past his parents, not stopping when they called his name as he stomped up the stairs to his room. He slammed his door loudly and collapsed onto his bed, pulling his laptop from his backpack. He barely turned when he heard a smaller voice coming from the door.  
“Zim?” Gir’s voice was barely above a whisper. “I dun like when you’re made all… Uh… You still sad.” He closed the door gently behind him. Zim sat up to face his brother. His face was wet, his eyes filled with tears. As much as Zim said Gir annoyed him, Gir was the only one who really cared about him right now, and his heart softened when he saw him crying. He hopped off his bed and hugged his brother, giving him soft pats on the back. Gir was generally very affectionate and eagerly hugged Zim back. “You’re good. I promise.” Gir mumbled against Zim’s shoulder blade.  
Zim patted him on the back a few more times, then pushed him back and kept his hands on Gir’s shoulders. “I know I am.” He smirked. “No one’s going to convince me otherwise, and that’s my promise.” Gir beamed at him, happy that he could help somehow.  
“YOU WANNA PLAY?” Gir suddenly shoved his 3DS at Zim. Zim cautiously took it, and opened it to a game matching different creatures on the screen. As they ended up sitting on Zim’s bed again, Gir started to teach him how to play. The quicker you defeated your enemy, the more points you’d get at the end of the game. Gir was on quite a high level, and Zim tried to get the hang of it but Gir took over eventually.  
Zim growled at the game. “Infernal fire monkey. Why don’t you have any more powerful monsters, Gir?”  
“I like the cuuuute ones.” Gir chattered. Zim screwed up his face. He wasn’t quite sure this spotted fish with torn fins was very cute. He let out a grunt and handed the device back to Gir, who hopped off Zim’s bed and bounced over to the other side of the room to his own bed.  
Zim was suddenly overcome with the itch to invent. His fingers twitched and he glanced at Gir. The kid had only been his brother for about a year, and Zim had refrained himself from doing anything in fear he’d get in trouble. But honestly though, Gir was so… not easy going, but he would do almost anything for Zim. Today was so crappy, he deserved to treat himself with a little bit of experimenting. “Hey, Gir.”  
“Mm?” Gir didn’t look up from his game.  
“Can Zi- I… Do some... enhancements? To you?”  
This caused Gir to look at Zim with a blank stare. “Whatchu say?” He said, sticking his tongue out a little bit and frowning.  
“I have a brilliant mind, Gir. And you… could use some work. I can make you better.” Gir didn’t seem phased at all by Zim’s apparent insult. He just blinked, his big eyes boring into Zim’s. Zim felt a rare twinge of doubt for half a second.  
“Oh...kie.” Gir closed his game. Zim lit up.  
“Eeeexcellent.” Zim said, pulling out his lab gear from his backpack. He snapped his pink goggles over his eyes, pulled on his green lab coat and large gloves, and ruffled with his hair a bit until it was messy and almost sticking straight up on his head. He went over to the wall where his old phone was velcroed to the wall and pressed a button to activate voice command. “COMPUTER! Take me to my lab.” He barked into the device, and a secret door sprung open, slamming into place with a bang. He motioned for Gir to follow him down the staircase.

Zim noticed Gir self-consciously playing with the strings on his hat, pulling it down further on his head as the two of them walked to school the next day. Zim also noticed that his brother looked legitimately worried and put his hand on Gir’s shoulder. Gir jumped at this and grabbed Zim’s hood with both of his hands.  
“They’se gonna make fun of me again, Zim!” he cried out, eyes full of tears. Zim put his hands over Gir’s, untangling them from his sweatshirt.  
“Keep it down. As long as you have this,” Zim poked at one of the fabric dog ears that came out of the green hat on Gir’s head, “none of them will notice. Mom and Dad didn’t.”  
Gir didn’t say anything else, just whimpered and kept running his hands over the back of his head. Zim considered doing the same thing, only to feel his handiwork one more time. He had implanted Gir with a cybernetic plate designed to enhance his abilities. Now Gir had advanced mapping skills, as well as some programmed skills in combat, not that the kid would ever use them. Zim just thought they were cool. There had been some missteps here and there, some accidental cuts that Zim had to stitch back together, but those were just details in the scheme of things.  
Zim had noticed something strange about Gir after the fact, as well: Something in his programming must have messed with Gir’s eyes, because they would turn red when he got angry. Zim had learned this the hard way, as after he tweaked Gir’s chip to include combat his eyes had become red and he started thrashing about, trying to attack Zim. Luckily, he didn’t get hurt from this.  
As the two walked into school, Zim was suddenly struck with the realization that he would have to confront Dib about yesterday again. Zim put his hand on Gir’s shoulder just as an attempt to comfort him one more time and quickly headed for his own classroom. He heard Gir calling his name, but he couldn’t let that alien run free in school. Not without becoming his friend or (possibly) servant, anyhow. He practically sprinted to his classroom and threw open the door, not caring if he drew attention to himself, actually, that was exactly what he wanted. His heart jumped with excitement seeing Dib sitting at his desk. He purposely met Dib’s eyes and gave him the sharpest stare he could. Watching Dib become uncomfortable was satisfying.  
“So, when were you going to tell us you were an alien, Dib?” he shouted, standing in the front of the classroom, arms waving wildly. He watched everyone look his direction, and felt extreme pride knowing he might be getting through to his peers for once. Suddenly something smacked his head. He looked in the direction of the feeling and found a wadded up paper on the floor. Pride was turned to dread as he watched the rest of his class start an uproar of laughter. He heard some people chastising him for believing in aliens, and others saying he was annoying. It filled him with unbridled rage. “FINE, you insolent FOOLS! Let yourself be conquered, see if I care! I’ll let you ROT! But I will survive, because I can do THIS!”  
With nowhere else to direct his anger, he lept at Dib and wrestled him onto the ground. Dib let out hisses of rage and began to claw at Zim, trying to get him off. Eventually Dib struggled into the offensive, holding Zim against the ground by his wrists. Zim looked up at Dib’s face, seeing it upside down.  
“Enough.” Dib said in a voice low enough that it legitimately scared Zim. He couldn’t believe he had lost. His eyes were wide, he was panting, and everything hurt. He had everything going for him. He could have been respected. Dib pulled him up from the ground, loosening his grip on Zim’s hand. Zim realized that one of his bandages had fallen off a bit and he quickly refastened it. He pulled his wrist out of Dib’s hand and realized he was face-to-face with Ms. Bitters.

“This is all your fault, Zim.” Dib grumbled. His arms were crossed, and though Zim refused to meet his face again, he could feel a cold stare boring into the side of his temple. Zim put his face in his hands.  
“You should have chosen another planet, space boy.” Zim said, running his hands down his face and bringing his eyes back up to look at the principal’s door again.  
“Oh, so it’s space boy now? If anything, you should be space boy, since your head is so far gone.” Dib sighed.  
“Fine, call me that if you want. Just know that I will never stop trying to expose you.”  
Dib snorted. “Sure, okay, space boy.” Zim had to admit that hearing that name come out of Dib’s mouth made him feel… something. He couldn’t place the feeling, but he knew that this kid -- alien -- was going to be his nemesis. And it lit something up in his guts the likes of which he’d never felt. The two waited there in silence for a couple minutes, letting the tension sink in between them. Finally, Zim decided to meet Dib’s eyes. Dib looked away as if trying to hide the fact that he was staring at Zim. Zim let out a small “hmph.” Finally, they were called into Principal Red’s office.

Another day, another lecture from his parents about why he should stop getting into trouble. Zim was sick of hearing it. Sick of the yelling, sick of the twirling his straw in his soda around his finger trying to distract himself from his parents. Sick of them making Gir cry. The days he laid low, Tak bullied him and he got a lecture. The days that were interesting, he got in trouble and got a lecture. It made him frustrated as he contemplated it all, lying in his bed and staring up at the ceiling as if it held all the answers. He wasn’t respected. His parents didn’t understand how he worked, and he didn’t understand why they hadn’t just given up on him already. But what he really didn’t understand was why it was affecting him now, of all times. Was it just because of Dib? Had this new kid ruined Zim’s life? Zim sighed. He traced his fingers over his bandages.  
“Zim will figure it out. He always does.” He murmured to himself. Talking in third person comforted him. It made him feel as if someone held respect for him. But maybe… maybe someone already did. It was just a shame it was someone he had sworn to fight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stuff is starting to hit the fan oops

    Dib was getting used to this “skool” thing. Every day, he sat down, opened his textbook, and did his work. He was learning a ton about this world, how plants worked, the water cycle, and how human society had grown over the years. None of these things were heard of on Irk, an entirely industrial planet which devoted every inch of its surface to war preparations or the luxurious homes of the wealthy. History wasn’t a part of Irken culture, at least for the scientists. The only irkens held in high regard would be the greatest invaders of them all, the ones in the Hall of Fame for their achievements. Scientists stayed on planet Vort, only going to Irk for formal events such as trials.

    Earth wasn’t Irk in the slightest. Instead of conquering other planets, humans would work against each other for land on this singular planet. Dib was amazed at how the society of Earth wasn’t a hivemind, there were no supreme leaders for the planet, no Control Brains or Tallests. There seemed to be ‘taller’s, in a sense, for small portions of the planet, and they fought amongst themselves a lot. From what Dib gathered, it also seemed like these Earth creatures needed water to survive, which was very strange to him. After calling his Tallest about it, he learned that several hundred years ago, Irkens used to need water too, but the scientists and genetic engineers had made the species move past it. Their species had become based on sugar, a substance that Earth had as well. Humans tended to put sugar in junk food, which was convenient for Dib as the junk food on Earth was very similar to the normal mealtime food that he ate on Irk. Being made of sugar, though, made irken skin incredibly sensitive to polluted water. It seemed like the more Dib learned about Earth and its history and biology, the more he learned about Irk’s as well. He decided that he liked skool a lot.

    The biggest downside to skool was the absolute hell that was sensory overload. Dib resisted the urge to scream during class many times, instead choosing to twitch and try not to let those little spots of color he saw flitting around in the corner of his eyes distract him from whatever Ms. Bitters was droning on about. Even then, more often than not he found himself doodling instead of taking notes, scratching tiny drawings of cryptids and unsolved mysteries into the margins of his paper. Everything was just so calm, and therefore more overwhelming than anything Dib had ever experienced. And then there was Zim.

    As if on queue with his thoughts, Dib felt a burning feeling in the side of his temple and shot a scathing look across the room. Sure enough, Zim was sending him a dirty look back, brow furrowed and lower jaw forced forward so his bottom teeth gripped his upper lip. This was part of his daily schedule now: looking angrily at Zim. Every day, Zim came up and threatened him. Told him he was going to cut open his stomach and rip his organs out one by one. Dib was worried at first, but then realized Zim’s threats were empty. In fact, over the past few months, he had developed an absurd fondness for their back-and forth banter. Which was strange, as he was sure invaders were programmed to not feel any emotions other than rage, pride, and possessiveness. Then again, he was a scientist, not an invader.

    Lunch time came and went as it did every day, Dib watching Zim as he collected samples of the strange, almost radioactive lunch food that the school gave them. Dib noticed that Zim tried and failed every day not to look over at Dib. The looks he gave Dib were usually nasty, but some of them were almost contemplative. It surprised Dib, and brought back that feeling of hey, this human is so much different than the others and I’m very drawn to him. But Dib shoved that down in favor of tinkering with Irken technology and narrowing his eyes at Zim whenever their eyes met. Gaz seemed to be doing okay in skool. She spent the majority of her time playing on her little device -- a Game Slave Viva, Dib remembered -- but she wasn’t there for information gathering, as she should have been. She was programmed to be more of a companion to Dib, a friend-of-sorts as he went about his day. She was someone he could ramble to without her saying anything back. Dib had started to regard Gaz as his actual sister, as Zim had called her. Actually, Zim accused Dib of forcing her to be his sister on a regular basis since he didn’t know she was a robot.

    Dib stopped his own thoughts for a moment. Why did everything he thought of come back to Zim? He decided to shoot another look across the lunchroom and meet Zim’s eyes. He realized Zim looked contemplative again, his eyebrows just barely furrowed and his eyes almost soft. Dib had noticed that his eyes changed color on a regular basis, some days they were pink, some days were blue. Most of the time, they were pink, as they were today. He had caught Zim slipping something into his eye to change its color once in the bathroom, and Zim had punched him in the face for coming up behind him and surprising him by asking him what he was doing. He found himself chuckling at the memory, and as soon as he smiled he noticed Zim had tucked his face into the hood of his sweatshirt, averting Dib’s eyes at all costs. He almost let himself think that Zim looked vulnerable like this until he remembered their vicious battles.

    In the short time that he’d known Zim, he had picked up that Zim was kind of violent. The two of them got into a lot of fights, becoming a tangle of teeth and claws that usually ended up with one of them bleeding. Not that Dib’s holographic disguise betrayed that he was, but he found himself having to wipe translucent pink blood off of himself sometimes. Zim, on the other hand, had bled every single time. Dark crimson stained his face as it dripped out of his nose and a cut above his eyebrow. It fascinated Dib. Humans and irkens were so different when it really came down to it, even if their bone structures said otherwise. After a particularly bad fight, Zim wouldn’t come to skool for a few days, while Dib was perfectly healthy after some hours. Every time, Dib sneakily checked in on him and found him recovering, white bandages wrapped tightly around the portion of the body that Dib had stomped on or bitten.

    Seeing how slowly humans recovered had stricken a chord with him. He never thought anything of how frail humans were until he saw it for himself. After the second time, he decided he wasn’t going to pick physical fights with Zim. If Zim picked one with him, which was usually the case, he’d defend himself, but he would be careful not to let himself get carried away and hurt Zim too badly.

    After a while, Zim had noticed that Dib wasn’t going all out anymore and had snapped at him. The two of them had blown up at each other, Zim accusing Dib of not respecting him and punching him in the face, and Dib retorting with the fact that it was because he respected Zim that he wasn’t trying to hurt him. After that, everything had changed for them.

    Now Zim attempted to fight him once a week instead of nearly every day, never actually harming Dib but trying to start an actual fight. He would drag Dib by the shirt in a blind rage and throw him against a wall, making sure they were off skool grounds to steer clear of anyone who could get him in trouble, pinning Dib down by the wrists and screeching insults in his face before Dib replied coolly and brought Zim to near tears as he backed away and slumped against the opposite wall of whatever alley they were in at the time. He would spill all of his life secrets to Dib, his problems at home and with everyone at skool.

    They weren’t friends, but they listened to each other. Those tender moments where Dib would listen to Zim and try and comfort him without touching him had made him happy with the human. Slowly, even those moments diminished, Zim not even attempting to fight Dib anymore, and the two decided to throw nasty stares at each other. Dib’s side was a facade, but he had no idea if Zim’s side was as well.

    More learning, more shooting menacing stares, and the bell rang. As Zim approached him today as they were walking home, he braced himself for whatever fighting move Zim tried to pull on him today. Zim never approached him after skool unless he was about to fight with Dib. Although, Dib had seen Gir walking home by himself earlier. Gaz had joined him, the two had become surprisingly close friends. Dib decided to relax. Zim usually brought Gir along to have his brother see “how badass he was for taking on an alien in hand-to-hand combat,” as Zim put it. But today, Zim was quiet. He was kicking the ground and averting eyes as the two stood still, face to face.

    Dib decided to break the silence. “Zim, I-”

    “Shut up, Dib-worm.” Zim hissed, finally meeting his eyes with a look that could almost certainly kill. They stayed like this for a hot minute, the silence setting once again. Dib noticed that Zim's fists kept clenching and unclenching, his body slightly shaking as his eyes flitted around again. Suddenly Zim scrunched up his face, as if making a decision about something, and shoved Dib back.

    Catching his balance, Dib watched Zim become a silhouette as he walked away. A few seconds on an empty street were spent before Dib called out to him, “Isn’t your house that way?” jutting his thumb out and gesturing to the direction opposite Zim was going. Zim froze in place, then turned around and ran past Dib in a panic, not saying anything. Dib watched after him once again, letting out a breath of laughter. There were a lot of things going on in Dib’s mind right now, but the only thing he could think about was how ridiculously confusing everything Zim did was, and it made him laugh for reasons he couldn’t place. He let himself giggle for a few seconds, standing in the same place, then let his frustration with Zim sink in as he began to trudge home.

When he got back to his base, he ended up with his back against the door, sliding down into a sitting position with his knees to his chest. He ran his hands down his face and let out an exasperated sigh. Switching his disguise off, he slammed the back of his head against the door.

“I don’t understand humans, Gaz.” He whined. Her disguise had switched off as his was turned off, so two big, almost empty purple eyes were staring at him as he grabbed the toes of his boots and began to tap his feet against the floor anxiously.

“You mean… You don’t understand Zim.” She rasped, the metallic tone to her voice scratching a little bit. Dib wondered how she knew what he was thinking, and before he got a chance to vocalize that, she interrupted him. “Gir told me that Zim had this plan to talk to you or something.” She shrugged. “Don’t ask me.”

“What?” Dib was taken aback. “But Zim hates me. He takes every opportunity to tell me how I’m alien scum, how he wants to kill me, how he’s going to crush every evil plan that I make. Which, by the way, when have I ever tried to take over this planet? I’m not even an invader, Gaz, Tallest Membrane just sent me here to research.” He took a moment to let himself breathe as he spoke rapidfire. “And what do you mean, ‘talk to me?’ Zim didn’t even say anything to me today! He just stared and then did something really strange! That’s why I don’t understand him. He contradicts himself and it never makes any sense at all!” Dib finished, throwing his hands up before groaning and slumping back against the door. He hadn’t realized how tense he had become during his little speech just then.

“That sounds like his problem, then.” Gaz grunted. “Not mine. Or yours.”

“I guess you’re right, Gaz, but I feel like it might be my fault that Zim is so…” Dib moved his hand in circles, trying to find the perfect words for what he wanted to say. He decided he wasn’t going to be able to and just gave up. “...Y’know.”

Gaz growled. “Just give it up, Dib. We’re here to gather research so we can destroy the planet, not get caught up in other people’s problems.”

Dib nodded in resignation. Leave it to Gaz to keep him on track. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m not destroying it though.” he added, pointing one of his fingers towards Gaz as if to say ‘that’s what you want to do, not me.’

“Then who will? Get your head out of the clouds, Dib, this planet is far from any of the armada’s maps. Why would they send you here, to the most remote part of the universe? You, the measly scientist, not even tall enough to be a head scientist.” She scoffed.

“What are you saying, Gaz?” he breathed shakily.

“I’m saying, Dib, that I have no idea how you haven’t caught onto this yet. Membrane supports you, but he’s afraid of you. Afraid of what you see.” She wasn’t looking him in the eye, but her tone was sharp and twinged with annoyance. Dib felt as if his spooch was crawling up his insides and into his throat. He swallowed it back down.

“You mean… he thinks I’m defective?” He said slowly, before he could process his own thoughts.

Gaz shrugged. Dib knew that Membrane had tinkered with her, but to give her this knowledge and not tell Dib about it, leaving him finding out about it to pure chance and accidents… Dib buried his face in his hands and let out a tiny sob.


	4. Chapter 4

Zim inhaled a deep breath through his nose, keeping it there for a good few seconds before letting it back out. He needed to calm his nerves, but he had been on edge ever since Dib had disappeared 3 days ago. He hadn’t gone to school, or the park where Zim had noticed he liked to hang out and write god-knows-what in his stupid black notebook, Zim hadn’t even caught him outside his house when Zim just happened to walk by the cul-de-sac totally not looking for proof of aliens living on this street or anything. He vowed he wouldn’t come near Dib’s house if it wasn’t something he had been forced to do.

But technically, it had been. He had been volunteered by the class to deliver Dib’s homework to him since he had been gone half the week, even though they weren’t even friends, thank you,  _ Tak. _ The orange glow from the sun illuminated Dib’s house in a strange light, making it almost brown in color. His door was a steely gray with a Men’s bathroom sign haphazardly plastered in the center. Zim could see bits and pieces of his reflection if he tried hard enough, but mostly he was just an abstract painting of messy colors against the metal. He was jolted out of his trance by the door opening, which startled him and made him drop all of the papers he was holding. 

As he scrambled to pick up the papers, he hadn’t noticed how slightly the door had been cracked open. Out of the black, he noticed, was a half lidded, pupil-less orb of blue. A brilliant blue, deeper than any ocean he had ever seen. Which is to say, not many, since he was deathly afraid of water. For several moments, nothing was passed between the two besides a stare. Zim could only hear his own breath until Dib’s voice wafted out from the crack. 

“Just walk in. The door’s open.” And with that, the crack had closed. 

Zim swallowed nervously and approached the door, forgetting about the papers that had now been scattered across the sidewalk by the wind. Gently sliding his hand over the metal, he let it creak as it opened agonizingly slowly. The room was almost pitch black, save for a screen illuminating a green face as Dib tapped away at it. Zim almost didn’t step inside, but something was forcing his feet forward. Something that was inside of him. As soon as he was a few steps indoors, Dib snapped his fingers and the door slammed shut behind Zim with an almost deafening bang. Zim flinched, and after a few seconds of having his eyes shut, he opened them again and met Dib’s from across the room.

“Don’t refuse help.” Dib growled at him, revealing a row of zig-zagged, pink-tinted teeth. 

Zim blinked indignantly at the comment. “What is your alien pig-scum mouth spewing now?” He growled in return, matching Dib’s tone.

Dib’s unblinking and tired expression didn’t change. “You need help. I’ve been studying you. I’ve been studying Earth’s illnesses.” Dib closed his eyes to tap his temple. “These ones.”

Zim swallowed nervously. “And?”

“Jittery. Outbursts of anger and violence. Your eyes never stay in one place and you’re narcissistic to mask your insecurities. Scribbles on your papers and arms.” Dib paused, pointedly looking at Zim’s wrists. “...Self harm, right?” 

Zim tensed up, instinctively grabbing his right wrist defensively. “You can’t tell my-”

“Relax. I’m not going to tell your parents. This is between us, and us alone, Zim.”

Zim’s legs ached and he let himself slide into a sitting position on Dib’s floor, knees to his chin as he curled up. “So, what’s your point,” A pause. “ _ Dib.” _ He spit the name out like it was spoiled food.

Dib blinked at him, his eyes half-lidded again. “You probably wet the bed sometimes too, right?”

Zim turned red and started sputtering. “How did you even-”

“You have some form of psychosis, Zim. It’s obvious. Why you haven’t reached out to your family is beyond me, although I think I know why it’s not being treated as it should.” Dib stood up now, walking towards Zim with a slouched posture. “They’re not trying to fix you, you know. They’re trying to help.”

Zim couldn’t bear to look at him in the eyes anymore and let his gaze slowly drop to his knees. He curled in tighter. 

“I’ve seen the way you treat your parents and brother,” Dib continued slowly, with each sentence another step. “because I, myself, was worried about you. I guess it’s kind of awkward to admit that now, huh?” He shrugged as he settled in front of Zim, and Zim’s gaze was brought back up as Dib knelt to his level.

“Why are you telling me all of this? To rub it in my face more that Zim will never actually be almighty? Well, great job. You’re a  _ hero _ to me now, you evil...” Zim lost his words as his eyes dropped again. 

“You… You’re doing it again.” Dib sighed, grabbing Zim by the wrists and forcing his head up. “Look at me.”

Zim narrowed his eyes at the opposite side’s buggy eyes. “Fine. Spit out what you need to say, cockroach.”

“You don’t have to do this, Zim. Not to yourself, not to anyone around you. They all want to see you get better, Zim. They may not know how to say it, but they want you to be happy. I want you to be happy.”

“What purpose would it serve to y-”

“To know that someone like me has as much hope for themselves as I do for them.”

“Like you-?”

“Yes.”

Zim felt himself untensing, tears welling in his eyes as their hands dropped in unison. “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t-”

“Apologies don’t fix things on their own, Zim. Actions do.”

“Why are you worried about me?”

“You seemed like you needed someone.”

Zim sneered at him, even through his tears, which were now running down his cheeks. “What gave that away?”

Dib chuckled at him and stroked his head, running his hand over the bases of his sharply bent antennae. “The crying sessions in the alley, I think.” 

Zim felt a twinge of guilt running through his chest as he remembered the breakdowns. “Right.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t… know what I was thinking. Relaying that all to you.” Suddenly a realization dawned on him and he started backing away. 

“Wait… You… Alien!” he choked. “I’m revealing my innermost secrets to an alien! My sworn enemy no less!” He scrambled to his feet and backed towards the door, entire body trembling like a leaf in the wind. “You’ll pay for this!” He yelled as he ran out the door, slamming it behind him. 

Zim stopped to let everything that had just happened sink in as he put his back against the door he had just slammed. An alien, his arch nemesis, had been gone for days, half a week, to analyze his behaviors to… help him? He put his head in his hands and ran them down his face. “Whatever.” He grumbled to himself. “What he does with his time is none of my business. What a freak.”

“I can hear you out there!” Dib’s shout came from behind the door and Zim jumped in surprise. He took off running again and didn’t stop until he reached his house. He got to the door, then hesitated. 

_ Should I bring it up to my parents? _ He pondered. He furrowed his brow and contemplated the possible outcomes to this.  _ Am I even ready? _ He shook his head and decided that he’d tell Gir first, then tell his parents when he was ready. He opened the door to an empty living room, his parents must have still been at work. He sighed in relief and started going towards his room, feet feeling a little bit heavy with the weight of his worries dragging him down. He knew Gir would be there, and a twinge of doubt for what he wanted to do ran through him. He pushed it down as he walked into his room and faced Gir on his bed, who immediately perked up when he saw Zim and ran over to hug him. 

“Ah missed you!” Gir squealed into Zim’s hoodie. 

Zim tentatively hugged back. “Thanks, Gir.” He swallowed as he thought about Dib’s advice. Change of plans. “Uh, if I said I needed help, would you be able to let Mom and Dad know for me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jsyk the things i described about zim are things that i experience so this chapter is.. a little bit personal to me and also if you thought zim was going to be super angsty like he was in chapter 2 this entire fic you were WRONG BABY i honestly hate that trope and i wanted to deconstruct it


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